The Domino Effect

I know, that's usually seen as a bad thing. One little thing happens, and it sets off a huge chain reaction of bad things happening. But this week, I've started a positive domino effect. Last Thursday or Friday, I created a bedtime routine. It looks a little something like this. Thursdays will look a little different because my class starts at 6:30, but I'll stick to it as much as I can.

• Be done with exercise by 6:30. 
• Be showered by 7.
• 7:30 - Snack (if I'm hungry) and tea. I use this tea - Soothing Caramel Bedtime
• 8:30 - Get ready for bed. Turn on my diffuser and plug my phone up in my bedroom. 
• 9 - Bedtime. Read in bed. 
• 9:30 - Lights out, earplugs in. 

I'm not going to be super strict with these times, but that's the general idea. I tried it Sunday, and it really helped. I drank my tea while watching Supermarket Sweep and the new Who Wants to be a Millionaire?. And when 8:30 came, I did those things, turned on my diffuser with lavender, and went back to the living room without my phone. And by 9, I was actually sleepy! I don't know if it was the trip I took to Greenfield (probably not), the tea (maybe), or what it was, but I was ready for bed. And that never happens. The challenge with going to bed was actually reading instead of hopping on Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, games, whatever. But I made myself do it, and I actually lost track of time! I woke up twice before it was time to get up, which is pretty normal for me. 

And it helped! I woke up refreshed and ready for the day. I felt excited to try it again with some changes I'm going to make. And probably the most important, I felt more motivated to take more steps to take care of myself. I'm going to make sure to stay hydrated - I can leave my water bottle down on Mondays since our kiddos are virtual, but the rest of the week I'll have to do my water drinking during breakfast, lunch, and at the end of the day. But no worries, I can get it done.

And I've been happier than I have been. I had a LOT less anxiety about my relationships with other people. I've been able to focus more on myself and what I'm doing instead of worrying about what other people think about me, if they're talking about me behind my back, and so on. I have a mantra in my head that I got from the host of the show I'm watching - Unless they're paying your bills, pay them no mind. Meaning that I shouldn't pay attention to others or worry about what they think of me. Cause, y'know, other people don't pay my bills. Granted, today was a little off at first, but once I got into my day at work, I started to feel more like I did yesterday. 

I honestly think that having a routine is helpful to me. It's been proven that people with anxiety disorders (aka yours truly) benefit from routines. I'm not going to fully schedule my day like I did when I was a kid, but I think that this nighttime routine will help a lot. I used to shame myself for needing routine. Life was about spontaneity! Living in the moment! But I've come to realize that there's a balance needed. Spontaneous day trip somewhere by myself, with family or friends? Sure! But it's okay to have a morning or nighttime routine, especially if it helps. It's a comfort, knowing exactly what I'm going to do. It helps me stop the "I should be doing this or that" type thoughts that I have when I don't have an exact idea of what I need to do. 

So I'm going to keep implementing this as long as I can and see where the rest of these dominoes fall. If it helps me learn new, healthy coping mechanisms to replace the old, unhealthy ones that I need to get rid of, then I am all for it. And right now, I'm very hopeful.